Two years is both a long time and no time at all

Before I came here, I never imagined myself living here. I figured I would be able to pass the 27 months some way, but in many ways, I only had to get through the 27 months before I would return to the life that I left behind in the United States.

Maybe it’s because it’s the first place that I’ve moved in my pseudo-adult life, but part of this has always felt impermanent. I know that it is, but the knowledge of my impending plane ticket to the US caused me to fail to see how long two years is. I felt like I would just float in here and then float out after 27 months.

Which is why it’s weird that I’m starting to find my life here. I have students who greet me by name outside of school. I have neighbors who look for me running down the street; they don’t understand why I run for fun, but they know that I will be passing their house every other day. At the market, I have a bread lady, a tomato lady and a plastic bucket lady. And most of all, I’m starting to make friends.

When I was in Porto Novo during training, I once said to someone that I wasn’t sure how to build relationships with people in French. She responded that she imagined it was the same as in English.

What I was thinking about was that I would be with people from a different language and culture, I didn’t know how I would ever be able to communicate my real self to the people around me. I looked at other volunteers around me and marveled when they talked about the friends they had in village. I didn’t understand how they did it.

Things started to shift for me when I stopped thinking about this experience as a two-year trip and more as the next two years of my life. The more I am here, the more I comprehend just exactly it means to be doing this for the next two years. And the more I am able to comprehend how I will be doing this. 

Last Saturday marked the longest that I have ever not lived in Missouri. I just realized that benchmark is something that I will probably continue to pass again and again.