The Sorcerer

Leo, Loic and  I had taken our usual spots at the wooden table in the dining room that has become our designated location for nightly card games since I’ve moved in. I’m facing the window, with my back to the living room, so I am the last person to spy the Sorcerer.

Leo first spots him in the middle of a hand of “pique,” but doesn’t say anything. It is Loic who sounds the alarm.

“Ahh. Mon dieu,” he says. I sit up straight in the chair to see what he is pointing at.

On the concrete wall not quite in the corner is a three-inch long cockroach.

This is not my first encounter with a Beninoise cockroach, but it’s the first time one has dared enter into my home, a few feet from where I sleep, even closer to where I drink coffee in the morning.

“Me,” Leo says. “When I see one of those in the shower, I do not wash myself.”

We decide the cockroach must die. Although, none of us can image the endeavor that we are about to undertake.

Leo calls first for a shoe. Loic brings him a green and yellow flip flop from the back garden. I am skeptical at the strength of a flip flop against this animal, but Leo and Loic have far more experience with such wild creatures.

Leo launches his shoe. It grazes the cockroach, but it does not even move an antennae.

Leo is dumbfounded by the cockroach’s lack of fear.

“It is a sorcerer,” he declares. “That is the only explanation for why it did not move.”

Leo calls next for the insecticide. As a cautionary measure, Loic and I each climb on top of a chair. Leo has given himself as a sacrifice for this mission. He sprays the insecticide.

This time, the Sorcerer moves. It scuttles off the wall and along the floor into the living room. It squeezes into the corner in a manner so it is impossible to crush it with the shoe.

Leo tries the insecticide again. This only serves to piss off the Sorcerer. It flies into hallway and lands on the wall inches away from my open bedroom door.

Leo looks heavenward. “Why have you brought your black magic into my house, you Sorcerer?”

Eyes locked on the Sorcerer, we run into my room. Loic slams the door behind us. Leo and I try to formulate a new battle plan. We decided the best shot is the insecticide.

Leo alone will leave the room, hit the Sorcerer and then retreat as fast as possible. Then we will wait for the insecticide to work its magic. 

We cautiously open the door.

The Sorcerer is staring right at us.

Leo shoots the insecticide directly at the Sorcerer then ducks back into the room under my arm. I slam the door.

We wait.

The insecticide says it works instantly, but there are not specific instructions for sorcerers.

We open the door after 5 minutes. The Sorcerer is belly up in front of my door.

The three of us collapse in a fit of giggles on the tile floor.

“Emily,” Loic calls later. “I want to show you something.” I step out of my room that still reeks a little of insecticide. He is pointing to another Benin-sized cockroach on the wall.

“Bonsoir Monsieur,” I say. I close my door to the sound of Loic cackling at my salutation. One can only deal with so many sorcerers in one night.