Please don’t eat your brother.

I have my second four-legged houseguest, the dog of one of my friends who is currently biking around the country, so my house has once again turned into a battleground of cat vs. dog.

I feel like the parent of two unruly children – except that one of my kids wants to eat the other one. Mealtime is a carefully orchestrated event of who gets fed what, where and when. Sometimes it involves me picking up my cat, holding him over my head (out of the reach of the dog) and placing him in front of his bowl.

As I write this, we’ve reached a momentary peace. Both are standing guard in the sun in front of my house.

But it makes my arguments with my siblings when I was younger seem like simple disagreements.