Double standard

(I haven’t quite figured out how to put into words the complex relationship that Beninese culture has with sex, gender and sexual orientation. This is a start, but I suspect there will be more over the next two years.)

I have these two students in my class: Fidele and Alain. Separate, they’re pretty smart and are generally good students. Together, they will derail the entire class in less than 20 seconds. The goal of all my seating charts is to put them as far away from each other as possible. The thing about the two of them is that no matter how many desks I put in between them, they always end up sitting on the same bench by the end of class.

In one word, they are inseparable.

Last Saturday, I was teaching a make-up class at 7 a.m. Since we are in the cold season, meaning it gets to about 60 degrees in the morning, my students currently show up to school wearing puffy jackets that usually stay in the closet until at least the end of October in the US. 

In the middle of my lesson about gerunds, I look over at Alain and Fidele. Neither of them had worn a coat that morning. Instead, they are hugging each other tightly in order to combine the forces of their body heat against the morning chill.

Here, friends of the same sex are not taught to suppress a physical display of affection for each other. It is not uncommon for male friends who are my father’s age to hold hands while walking down the street. Among males my brother’s age, play wrestling is still common. While a man would never kiss his wife in public, it is not weird for Fidele and Alain to snuggle together against the cold in my class.