Can I get you anything?

The students’ second exams are next week, which means you are able to count the number of days left in the first semester on two hands. Which means my students have started showing up more frequently to ask if they can wash my bicycle or bring me some cashews or do anything that would make me a be a little nicer when grading their exams.

What they don’t know is that I cannot be bribed so easily, or at all for that matter. My bike may be noticeably cleaner, but their grades will still be the grades that they earn.

If they knew that, then they may have spent focused their energies focused on other teachers. I’m not saying my colleagues allows their students to buy their grades, but rather, are more accustomed to a society that sustains itself on bribes.

You want to pass through this village? Better pay the police. You want the school inspector to look favorably on your middle school? Better offer him lunch after your meeting. You want the post office to give you a package on Friday afternoon? Better throw in something in a little extra in that import tax.

The thing is that it’s not sustainable. Eventually, the tax drivers protest, the inspector gets full and I learn to come to the post office on other days. The only thing my students learn when they expect their grades to be influenced by their actions outside the classroom is that their teacher would rather they spend their time buying me things than doing their homework, which would be answered “false” if such a statement was on their exam next week.